Frusty and 360 degree apprisal

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Frusty's law: In most of the organizations I see that the 360 degree apprisal system is a hoax. Only to benefit your bosses. Next time you take one such apprisal just look into the way the system is designed.

Killing Frusty's Idea - Part 2

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Frusty's Law: Even if you give in all the efforts and put in effort to prepare a document your boss will put in so many people in the approval list that your idea will surely die its natural death.

How to kill Frusty's Requirement (or a new Idea)?

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How to kill Frusty's Requirement (or a new Idea)?
Frusty's Law: The moment someone comes to you with a new demand, idea or requirement and you want to avoid dealing with it; the best way to kill the idea is to ask the person to document it with various kinds of analysis. This will surely kill his enthusiasm.

Terrorists in Afghan and Pakistan, the Rich in Swiss Banks

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UBS to reveal names.

Frusty's Law, Moral of the Story: Criminals of every nature and stature always find safe havens for themselves. Some countries provide shelter overtly and some do it covertly. Swiss Banks with their secrecy policies have always managed to thwart investigations. I think they seriously need to rethink their policies. Even now when FBI has been trying to investigate financial frauds UBS have show resistance to cooperate. Recently a group of Rich Americans Sued UBS to keep Names Secret in Tax Case which is being investigated; http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2193517/posts.

The story in words for those who cannot see the picture:
Dreaded terrorists like Osama bin Laden have found safe haven in Afghanistan and Pakistan. Similarly most the wealthy and rich people who have had a hand in accentuating the global financial crisis have stashed away their booty in the Swiss Banks like UBS.

MBAs as commodities in Frusty's Organization

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MBAs as commodities in Frusty's Organization.

Frusty's Law, Moral of the Story: MBAs are no longer the exclusive resources who need to be pampered in the organization. Today they are being treated (bought and discarded) just like commodities.

The Story in Words for those who cannot see the picture.

Frusty asks Bossy: Who are these people comming to our organization loaded in a truck.

Bossy to Frusty: These are MBA graduates. They are comming really cheap so we recruited lots of them.

Frusty's First Job

Frusty went for his first interview and got selected for the opening. But on second thoughts he wasn't very keen to join the job as the pay was less. On hearing his concern the recruiter assured him that pay should not be a concern for him as he would get very good exposure and meet large MNCs clients in Gurgaon (India). Frusty joins the company but reality soon dawns on him. He is asked to deal with clients about which no one would have heard , 'Gai Chaap Masala', ' Baba Masala', 'Rajdhani Atta','Shah Namkeen'. He was expected to get bulk orders from them. Frusty soon encounters hi Boss and complains about the reality and how he was duped during the interview. Boss takes a hearty laugh and tells him "welcome to the corporate world, this is waht you have to do. Had I told you the truth at that time you would have never joined us."

Frusty the MBA without Job

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Frusty the MBA without Job

This cartoon and story is based on the idea received from Pranjal and Pallav. The mail is given below.

Frusty's Gyan, Moral of the story: Just beacuse you have got admission into an Ivy league MBA institute, it doesn't mean life is going to be a bed of roses. MBA's are not recession proof. You are just another mortal human being as vunerable as anybody else.

The idea from Pranjal and Pallav:

"Hi, I got the following idea from my friends Pallav and Pranjal, who asked me to communicate it to you. They overheard one of their manager saying that they went for MBA campus placements and instead of hiring just 2 candidates (which was their requirements) they ended up hiring 25 candidates as good candidates were available really cheap becasue fo the downturn. They felt that now MBA graduates are being treated like commodities. Let me know if you liked the idea and if you can put is up as a cartoon on your website. Thanks and Regards, Ana"

The story in words for those who cannot see the picture:

Frusty is having nightmare about job placements in his Business School ( Notice for the companies who are visiting the B-School to recruit MBAs), "Hire 1 MBA graduate and get 2 Free". Promotional campaign for MBAs!!!

Frusty and Bossy at Leadership Training

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Frusty gets trained for leadership role.

Frusty's Gyan, Moral of the Story: Being politically correct and diplomatic in all situations is always rewarded. Never show more enthusiasm and take risks to show your dedication to the organization. Be like a tortoise with all organs withdrawn within the protective shell. do not expose yourself unnecessarily. Do not ever take a stance and never be on the wrong side of the fence.

The Story in words for those who cannot see the picture:

Bossy to Frusty in a Leaderhip training program: The next 3 days of the training we will only be talking about what you should not be doing in this organization to grow to a leadership position. What you do doesn't matter to us whether you do the right things or not.

Frusty's Life

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Frusty's Life

Frusty's Gyan, Morale of the story:

Bossy will often try to act smart by asking Frusty feel good questions like How's life? Bossy knows very well that he has successfully screwed Frusty's life and career. The best thing is not to be a part of Bossy's game know let him know that you cannot be taken for a ride.

The story in words for those who cannot see the picture.

Bossy to Frusty: You have been working in our organization for three months. How's life?

Frusty to Bossy: What's life?

Frusty the Guinea Pig

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Frusty the Guinea Pig

Moral of the Story: You will always be the guinea pig of various corporate experiments. The worst part of it is that the corporate houses would then run propaganda programs to project that the initiatives were a great success. They would gain every inch of media mileage. You would be utterly helpless and would be simmering in your heart knowing very well that the initiatives have been an utter failure to meet its objectives.

The story in picture for those who cannot see it.
Bossy addressing a press conference ( Frusty is sitting beside him with a sullen face): We have excellent HR practices. We are having outplacement sessions for those who are affected by rightsizing.
Next scene:
Bossy addressing a press conference ( Frusty is sitting beside him with a sullen face):
This is Frusty. He just benefitted by one such training session and is looking towards an exciting career ahead as a cartoonist.
Frusty (thinking) Why am I being made a guinea pig in this experimental corporate circus.

Frusty's Outplacement

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Frusty's Outplacement

Moral of the Story: Outplacement is the greatest eyewash that corporate engages in. It is a program that is generally carried out with least amount of sincerity and budget. But it gives the organization good media coverage. It is a win-win situation for the organization. Today being the Friday the 13th I believe it is an auspicious day to carry out right sizing in your organization, so that some people can have a happy weekend ahead.

The story in picture for those who cannot see it.

Bossy to Frusty: a very Good Morning Frusty. Your invaluable contribution to our organization is no longer required.

Bossy to Frusty: But we have a very good HR Manager Pinky. Pinky suggested that we should train you and help you to find an alternative career. Today we are inviting famous cartoonist "Frustoo No. 1". You get trained as a cartoonist and be a frustoo all your life.

Frusty , Bossy and the Rave Party

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Frusty , Bossy and the Rave Party

Moral of the story: Feign ignorance if it makes the life of your Boss comfortable. You may know the darkest secret of your Boss but hold your trumph cards close to yourself. You should use them judiciously when you are in danger.

The story in picture for those who cannot see it.

Bossy to Frusty: Did you attend the rave party yesterday organized outside the city in the farm house.

Frusty to Bossy: No I was in the office till 12PM making your presentation.

Frusty thinking: Good, that I wasn't there. Otherwise I would have ended up in police custody. But I know he was there.

Bossy thinking: Good that he did not attend the party. he would have seen getting me sloshed and also seen me spending the night in police custody.

Frusty Heading new Product Line ( Holi Special )

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Frusty Heading new Product Line ( Holi Special )

Moral of the Story: Don't worry if your product line is not selling. Some of the most popular products have found their application in the most unexpected way. Like Coca Cola was invented as a medicine for headache.

http://www.solarnavigator.net/sponsorship/coca_cola.htm

More recently according to Times of India, Condoms are being used to plug leaks in oil tubes in India . Truck drivers are said to have found use for the free condoms in plugging leaks. And that is just one of the inputs the National AIDS Control Organisation has considered while recasting the targetted intervention programme for this high risk group. [TOI] http://www.goacom.com/joel/news/2009/feb/04feb09.htm

Holi Hai . Enjoy ....

The story in words for those who cannot see the picture:

Bossy at awards ceremony: We are awarding Frusty. His suggestion saved us $15 million. we had 120 tons of turmeric powder in our warehouse about to expire. (Turmeric powder is a spice used in cooking). It wasn't selling in the market.

Bossy at awards ceremony, next scene: Frusty suggested that we should sell tumeric powder as green, ecofriendly, herbal Gulal* during Holi**. We made huge profits in that. We got awarded by the ministry of environment for that product. we are starting a new product line called "colours of nature". Frusty is spearheading that.

Holi**: It is the festival of colours. Celebrated in India A symbol of brotherhood, friendship, love and peace.

Gulal*: It is the colour used in the festival.

Frusty the IIM - MBA Graduate

Frusty the IIM - MBA Graduate
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The IIM - MBA graduates are now opting for PSU (Public Sector Unit) jobs. Just one year back PSUs were treated as untouchables in the campus placements of the premier institutes of India. Suddenly with the global economy nose-diving and the financial institutions going for a toss PSUs are back with vengeance.

Moral of the story: Don't do an MBA or enter IIM with a dollar dream or it will be "Shattered Dreams" for you. MBA is a big gamble like life. You never know how the economy will be when you graduate.

The story in words for those who cannot see the picture:

Frusty the MBA graduate from IIM (Singing, Then i.e. a last year when the economy was booming) : Borm in the USA.

Frusty the MBA graduate from IIM (Singing, Now i.e. a this year when the economy is under recession) : Meri desh ki dharti, Sona Ugle, Ugle Heera-Moti... (My county's land is so fertile that it produces crops which can be compared to diamonds and pearls- A popular Hindi song in praising ones own country.)

Frusty and the HR Manager : Pinky

Frusty and the HR Manager : Pinky

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Today I am introducing a new character, Frusty's HR Manager Pinky. She is Pinky because all she can do is hand over Pink Slips.

Moral of the Story: Somehow recession, cost cutting measures, retrenchment etc. never seems to affect the HR department. They always seem to have enough budgets for mindless entertainment programs where as the organization might be cutting costs by switching off Air Conditioners and lights at 6 o clock and make the whole office sweat in the sweltering heat. The activities of the HR department always seem to frustrate everyone.

The story in words for those who cannot see the picture:
Pinky( the HR Manager) to HR team : Last month we gave pink slips to 100 people from production , sales, R&D and saved $ 0.5 million.
Pinky( the HR Manager) to HR team : I have also got an approval for $5 million for the HR team. The whole HR team will fly to Swiss Alps for a week to Brain storm on how to improve Employee morale.

Frusty the Frustrated IT Manager

Frusty the Frustrated IT Manager

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Frusty's Gyan, Moral of the story: It is a thankless job to be an IT Manager in any organization. It is like being a mess secretary in a hostel. No one is ever happy. IT Manager gets all the brickbats for any problems faced by the organization. Every one will point fingers at the IT department and yet no one from the IT department will ever get a chance to defend themselves. In addition to that no one will ever make any effort to understand the nitty gritty of any software solution. A little effort by the Business users to understand the software helps the organization to resolve a lot of issues. IT, Software and systems have always been treated as untouchables by the business users.

The story in words for those who cannot see the picture:

Frusty to Bossy: We have been using the new software for the last one year. Should we have an information session for the top management to explain them how it works.

Bossy to Frusty: No, We should not have that. The more ignorant the top management is about the new software system the easier it is for me to convince them that all business problems like the drop in sales is due to the new software system.

Frusty and Bossy Cut Costs

Frusty and Bossy Cut Costs

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Frusty's Gyan, Moral of the story: Never underestimate your Bosses. However stupid they might be, Bosses always have the canny ability to use whatever little knowledge they have against you in the most unexpected way in the most unexpected situation.

The story in words for those who cannot see the picture:

Bossy to Frusty : We are changing the organization standards. We are moving ove rto German notation so instead of comma we will be using point in numbers.
Bossy to Frusty : So your salary which was $ 80,000 (Eighty thousand) willl now be $80.000 (eighty).

Frusty wants to be Paris Hilton

Frusty wants to be Paris Hilton

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Frusty's Gyan, Moral of the Story: It is important to tell your Boss what you want. It is even more important to tell your Boss very clearly what you don’t want.

Paris Hilton recently justified her high flying colorful life as her means to earn a livelyhood. How I wish I could be like her getting paid for partying all time?. One cannot choose their parents. Its written. I only want to choose my grandfather. Well I how I wish my grandfather was like hotel magnate Barron Hilton (billionaire grandfather of Paris Hilton)

The story in words for those who cannot see the picture:

Frusty to Bossy: I want to get into a new job role where I can party everyday and also earn a living.

Bossy to Frusty : OK, I will transfer you to our hotel division in the multipurpose hall section as a waiter. Ther eyou will ba a part of a party everyday and also earn your living.

Frusty the Slumdog

Frusty the Slumdog
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Frusty's Gyan:
Slumdog no longer sounds as derogatory as it was before. People now take pride in calling themselves slumdog. My organisation is thinking of starting a promotional campaign called "Mr. Slumdog". It is a buzz word today and every one is trying to encash on it.

The story in words for those who cannot see the picture:

Bossy to Frusty : How do we beat the slump in sales?

Frusty to Bossy: We can start a promotional campaign buy our product and become a "slumdog" or win a trip to "Dharavi Slum".

Everyone wants to become a SLUMDOG in India

Everyone wants to wants to become a slum dog. Being an average Indian middle class, my life doesn't differ much from that of a slum dog. I am leading a life of an eternal struggle trying to fulfill the ambitions of the society of which I am a part. Even though the movie ends but reel life is not real life. No wonder a country of a billion people has had near uncontrollable frenzied reaction on Raham's Oscar win. It’s a pretty sad state of affair that other than Satyajit Ray all the other Oscar wins by Indians have been through International production houses. Do we really need Phorener (foreigner) to show us ‘what an Indian Slum is?’ or ‘Gandhi’ means to India and to the World in General. The shameless Indian government decided to bestow the Bharat Ratna after internation recognition poured on Satyajit Ray on winning the Oscar.